


Youngblood

by lulu9922



Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: 5 Seconds of Summer - Freeform, Based on a 5 Seconds of Summer Song, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-16
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-08-24 09:47:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16637603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lulu9922/pseuds/lulu9922
Summary: "And when the phone call finally ends,You say "thanks for being a friend,"And we're going in circles again and again."- Heartbreak Girl, 5 Seconds of Summer.Or, Moon Bin is so in love with Lee Dongmin that he doesn't even know what to do with himself, and Lee Dongmin doesn't feel the same.





	1. Heartbreak Girl

**Author's Note:**

> This story will be a bit off a mess to start with I think, and I have NO idea when I'm gonna update but I'll try my best, also chapters will be quite short because as much as I wish I could, I just can not write long chapters. You may be waiting a while though. I mean I don't even know if this is even going to get any reads, but I hope so. Thanks for reading this if you do :).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lee Dongmin is so in love with Park Jinwoo that he doesn't even know what to do with himself, but Park Jinwoo no longer feels the same

_"You call me up,_  
_It's like a broken record_  
_Saying that your heart hurts_  
_That you never get over him getting over you,_  
_And you end up crying_  
_And I end up lying,_  
_'Cause I'm just a sucker for anything that you do"_  
- **Heartbreak Girl, 5 Seconds of Summer.**

**EW's POV:**  
"I think we should break up..."

I never knew that five words could bring my entire world crashing down around me like these have. I’ve never had to experience feeling breathless in the worst possible way. I don't know how to respond, so all I do is stare at the man before me with wide eyes that were probably glazed over with the tears that will soon be pouring down my face. There is no way that I was going to cry in front of him though, I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing how broken he's made me. He continues to talk, finally breaking the unbearable silence that felt like it's been going on forever.

“I just feel like this relationship isn’t good for either of us, and I feel like you could do so much better than me.” His voice is quiet, but it still feels like every single word is punching me in the gut.

“Okay…” It comes out like a squeak and much shakier than I intended, but there's no taking it back now.

His facial expression doesn't change, but a soft sigh leaves his lips, they're cracked and nowhere near as soft as they were when we first met. A lot of Jinwoo has changed since we’d first met, which I suppose is normal considering it's been five or so years. He turns away from me taking a long, deep breath and picks up the black bag that's been sitting on the floor, next to where he was sitting. He walks away from me, closing the door behind him without saying another word.

I turn away gasping for a breath I didn’t even know I needed. Only now has all the emotions that it seemed I was holding back hit me, anger and sadness of course, but deep down I can feel the slightest bit of relief. Mine and Jinwoo’s relationship has been a bit rocky for a long while and part of me knew that this was coming, but that doesn’t mean I was going to accept it. No matter how rude he can be to me or how many fights we've had I'm still head over heels in love with him, and I _hate_  it.

I lift my hand up to my face wiping away the tears that have started to blur my vision, I'm not going to let myself cry over him. As much as I love him I can’t do it, because I know that once I start that I won't be able to stop.

A loud sigh leaves my mouth and I reach down to my pocket pulling out my phone, calling the only person I know that I can talk to right now. He picks up quickly, only after a few rings. He always seems to pick up quickly and it makes me wonder if he has anything else going on in his life other than our phone calls. I know he does, but I just found it so adorable and funny that he always answers so quickly.

“Hey, Dongmin. Are you okay?” His voice is soft, and I know that he knows, that I am _not_ okay.

“No…” I keep my reply short, trying to hide the crack in my voice, but he definitely picked up on it. I can’t hold back my tears anymore, with his voice speaking softly to me and the horrible aching in my chest, it's pretty much impossible. A sob wracks my frame and as much as I try to muffle it, I know I hadn’t done a very good job when I hear his reply.

“No, Dongmin. Please don’t cry. Just tell me what happened.”

And, so I do, I think it's been our longest phone call ever. Because even though Jinwoo and I have fought in the past, and we’ve even walked out on multiple occasions, but one thing that has never happened before is him breaking up with me. And even though I knew it was coming, it's still killing me.

Bin listens to the whole story making sure to put in his opinion or advice wherever he can, he stays silent though, listening to everything I have to say, which it seems is a lot… When I was done ranting we were left in a silence, it seems that neither of us really knew what else to say. But the good thing is that I have finally stopped crying. We stay silent for a minute or two more just listening to the sound of each other's breathing, which is something we do quite often now that I think about it. I pull my phone away from ear looking down to check the time, my eyes widening as I read the white numbers at the top of the screen. 3:25 AM, I frown at the thought of having to drag myself into work tomorrow morning. I suppose I can always call in sick  
I put my phone back against my ear and start to speak softly to Bin on the other end.

“I should probably get to sleep now, I have work tomorrow…”

“Okay, sleep well Dongminnie, and try not to think about him too much.” His voice is scratchy, and he sounds beyond tired, I start to feel a little guilty for keeping him up this late.

“You too Binnie, and thank you so much for being such a good friend, I don’t know what I’d do without you.” I heard Bin let out a small frustrated sigh as I finish my sentence. I guess he was just tired.

“No worries, night.” He says quickly, and before I can even say anything else he ended the call. I look at my phone in confusion before shrugging softly, Bin is the least of my worries right now.

I know I should go to sleep but I also know that I can’t sleep in the bedroom. The bed probably still smells like him, and when the mere thought of him makes me want to cry, scream and vomit all at once, I know that the couch is the better idea.

I walk up the stairs slowly to get a blanket to sleep with, I take deep breaths with every step as I try to keep the tears that are springing back up into my eyes at bay. The frown grew wider on my face as I pass by mine and Jinwoo’s bedroom. I have to do a double take to make sure the black figure that I have seen out of the corner of my eyes isn’t the boy himself. I'm surprised when I see what it was. I look down at the black material of what used to be his favorite hoodie. I reach down and run my fingers over the soft material, I felt myself start to choke up all over again. I bought this for him for our 3rd year anniversary, and now he’s left it behind just like he has me. I pick up the jumper holding it up to my face breathing in his scent. Jinwoo has always had a unique smell, not in a bad way. It's something that I have always loved about him, it's one of the many things about Jinwoo that has always left my head spinning in the best way possible.

I close my eyes as I start to cry once again, my body shakes with silent sobs as I lay down on top of my white bed sheets, and held the clothing item as close to myself as possible. It's in that position that I fell asleep. In the one room in my apartment that I know, I shouldn’t have slept in. With the one item of clothing, I had hoped to never, ever see again. Without the one person that my heart constantly seems to yearn for, no matter how much he hurts me. I always seem to need him. Too bad he doesn’t need me.

On top of everything else that is happening, I had a dream about him as well, which of course only makes it worse for me. It makes my heart flutter seeing him smile at me like he used too. It's something I haven't seen in a really long time, and I miss it more than I've ever missed anything else before. When I wake up at 5:30 AM to an empty bed when that dream of him lying next to me felt so real, it feels as if I'm stuck in some kind of messed up hell that I can never escape. It feels like he's torturing me, and he isn't even here to see it. He isn't here to see how much he was truly making me suffer, and even though I know he isn't doing it deliberately, because as mad as I am at him right now I can't lie to myself and make him seem like a horrible person when in fact I have never met someone more wonderful.

I just need a reason to start hating him, because all my heart wants me to do was to call him and beg for him to come home and hold me. I know I can't though, and I know that even if I did, he won't show up, because like I said. He doesn't need me anymore.

_“Love hurts, but sometimes it’s a good hurt and it feels like I’m alive.”_

__-_ _ **Ashton Irwin, 5 Seconds of Summer.**


	2. Why Won't You Love Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Few drinks deep at a table for one  
> The place we like to go  
> And you take yourself home again  
> Three missed calls at 2 AM  
> And you say you never heard  
> You're late to get to work and then"  
> \- Why Won't You Love Me, 5 Seconds of Summer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. An update. On time. It didn't take me 100 years like I originally thought.
> 
> I actually have quite a few good ideas for this, so hopefully, it turns out good. Hopefully, people actually like it?

_“Why won't you love me?_  
_Why won't you love me?  
_ _We're together all alone tonight  
_ _So help us from the other side  
_ _So why won't you love me?”_  
**\- Why Won’t You Love Me?, 5 Seconds of Summer.**

 

**MB’s POV:**  
Hands tugged gently at my white hair causing me to groan softly into the kiss. The shitty music blaring in the background constantly reminding me that I’m still stuck at this horrible party. Making out with someone who I’m _not_ in love with, as usual.

It’s just another fling, which seems to be the only thing I can get nowadays. I haven’t been in a committed relationship in about 4 years. Ever since I’ve met _Lee Dongmin_. The one man I’ve ever met who’s made me want to drop everything and do whatever he needs me too. Not just because of his face either, like yes he is absolutely drop dead gorgeous, but his personality always manages to blow me away. His laugh gives me butterflies and makes me want to just kiss him on the spot, and he is the kindest person I’ve ever met in my life. Sadly, as all these stories seem to go, he’s only ever looked at me like a friend. It hurts, but I can’t ever tell him how I feel.

His boyfriend is Park Jinwoo and from what Dongmin has told me he isn't a very _good_ boyfriend. He’s petty and arrogant and the worst part of it is, that he treats Dongmin like shit. I’ve never actually met the guy, but part of me is glad that I haven’t. I can’t wrap my head around the fact that he is still with him, and whenever I ask, Dongmin just sighs and smiles that gorgeous smile of his before saying;

_“Because I love him Bin. I’ve loved him for 5 years and I don’t think I’ll ever stop.”_

I didn’t know words could hurt so much until I heard that sentence leave his mouth. I just nodded and returned his smile, mine was nowhere near as large as his though. Just the thought of him loving someone else makes me sick, no matter how long they have been together, it doesn’t matter to me. He doesn’t treat Dongmin right, and I know that I can.

The sound of my phone ringing pulls me out of my trance, and I pull away from whoever was attached to my face. I couldn’t even remember his name, I know he told me at some point but I honestly couldn’t care less about who he is.

I looked down at the contact name, even though part of me knew who it was already. I stand up to leave as soon as I see the name. Ignoring the boy behind me who was calling out, telling me to stay. He isn’t even that good-looking anyway, that’s what alcohol does to you I suppose. Right now though, heading outside to talk to Dongmin, I had never felt soberer. I know that it’s probably been Jinwoo doing something horrible again, but it doesn’t really matter much to me. Talking to him makes my heart flutter, and after being around him so long I’ve become addicted to that feeling. Dongmin is like a drug.

When the words “he broke up with me” left Dongmin’s mouth my eyes practically bulged out of my head. I can’t believe it. I know they were having issues, but the two of them have been together for 5 years. I don’t know Jinwoo, but I can’t understand how he can just walk away from a relationship like that. I can’t understand how he can just walk away from Dongmin like that… He’s crying for fuck’s sake. Dongmin doesn’t cry, ever. In the 4 years we’ve known each other I’ve only ever seen him cry once, and it was because his grandmother passed away. Jinwoo has really fucked up now. Part of me doesn’t want to let him get away with it, but it’s not like I know where to find him anyway.

The call starts coming to an end when Dongmin announces he needs to sleep. I only just realized how long I’ve been sitting out here talking to him. I sigh as the white numbers staring back at me, almost mocking me. Mocking me in a way that makes me feel sick. Almost as if they’re telling me how whipped I am for this man.

“Okay sleep well Dongminnie.” Came my reply. My voice is scratchy from all the talking, and probably from the fact that I’m now holding back my tears. This man has the worst effect on me.

“You too Binnie, and thank you so much for being such a good friend, I don’t know what I’d do without you…” Ouch.

I let out a frustrated sigh and decide to end the call quickly before I snap at him.

“No worries, night.” I tap the end call button and slide my phone into my pocket.

I look around me and saw that people were starting to leave the party, some people look like they’re heading out to find another one and some people look like they’re starting to head home. I join them in walking away from the party as I wipe at my face to try to avoid anyone seeing the tears, but I know when I got home that I will fall into Myungjun’s arms and cry like I do every time this happens.

Kim Myungjun has been my roommate for about 6 years, so pretty much ever since I’d moved out of my parent's house. I was struggling with money and pretty much desperate for someone to help me out, the last thing I wanted was to end up moving back in with my parents.

It was actually my friend Minhyuk who introduced us, and the first time I met him I thought he was gorgeous. If I hadn’t of met Dongmin, part of me feels like I could have had feelings for him, but life just doesn’t work that way. Maybe it would have been easier if it was him who I fell in love with, instead of constantly feeling heartbroken. Although, he doesn’t seem to have any interest in dating me, so maybe it would have just ended exactly the same way.

I sigh as I unlock the door to mine and MJ’s apartment. I walk in to see that he is still awake, sitting in the same spot on our cheap, ugly brown couch. Just like he always is when I go out. I have never appreciated seeing him more than right now. I smile sadly at him, and he returns it. The next thing I know he opens his arms up wide, knowing exactly what I need right now. He always seems to know just what I need. I run over to him almost jumping into his arms. I curl up in the shorter boys lap wrapping my arms around his neck, as his find their way around my waist.

To outsiders, I know we look like a couple, in fact, Dongmin has asked many times if we were, which hurt much more than it should have. Especially when he insisted that we’d be ‘very cute together’. I know it would never be like that between us though.

Tears pour down my face as he whispers softly into my ear telling me that everything will be okay and that Dongmin isn’t worth my tears. Which is pretty much the exact same thing he repeats to me every single time, but for some reason, it never fails to calm me down. Even if I didn’t believe him, it always makes me feel more at ease.

We stay in that position until both of our breathing has slowed and our eyes have slipped shut, my sobbing slowing down until there is no sound around us other than our own slow breathing. Roughly 6 hours later, when we finally open our eyes once again we were still in that same position. It seems that, at this moment, with Myungjun bathed in the early morning sunlight that I have found a new love and appreciation for our friendship. It is at that moment that I realize that I can’t ever lose this. This friendship that at this point is the only thing keeping me stable, the only thing that’s keeping me from doing something very, very stupid.

 

 _“Never look down on anybody unless you’re helping them up._ _”  
_ \-  **Calum Hood, 5 Seconds of Summer.**


	3. The Only Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Is he single?"
> 
> "No Bin. No, he's not." I snapped.

**_“_** _When I close my eyes and try to sleep_

_I fall apart, I find it hard to breathe_

_You're the reason, the only reason_

_Even though my dizzy head is numb,_

_I swear my heart is never giving up_

_You're the reason, the only reason”_

**\- The Only Reason, 5 Seconds of Summer.**

 

**MJ’s POV:**  
Seeing Bin cry never fails to break my heart, and this time is no different. Don’t get me wrong, Dongmin is my friend just as much as Bin is, it’s just that something about Bin is so _enticing_. I don't know what it is about him that I find so attractive.

Seeing Bin cry over Dongmin makes me question for a second (but only for a second) why I’m even still friends with him. He makes Bin hurt and just like some kind of domino effect it hurts me just as much. I _would_ stop talking to Dongmin, but we’ve been friends much longer than Bin and I have, and he’s always been there for me when I need him, I honestly don’t know what I’d do without him. It’s not like it’s Dongmin's fault anyway, he’s completely clueless to that fact that Bin is completely and utterly in love with him. It’s fine though because Bin’s not aware of the fact that, that’s _exactly_ how I feel about him.

A mutual friend of ours Park Minhyuk who introduced us, and through me, he met Dongmin. So, I guess you could say that I’m the master of my own demise.

I should have known that no one could withstand Dongmin's charm. I dealt with it all throughout high school, his beautiful face and calm attitude always drew people in, regardless of gender. And it seemed that all the boys that I liked _always_ liked Dongmin more. Whenever one of them would hit on him, or even worse ask _me_ about him I would always show up at his place crying, he would always hold me until I was okay again. Then once I’d calmed down he’d apologize, but I knew it wasn’t his fault. He's just too pretty for his own good and compared to that I'm nothing. He even ended up dating one of my many high school crushes. Park Jinwoo, is his current boyfriend, who he is completely in love with. And as happy as I am for both of them. It's hurting Bin, and that is never okay with me.

When I first brought Dongmin over, it was only because they were my two best friends, and all I wanted was for them to get along. Something that I’ll never, ever forget though, is what Bin had said to me after he’d left.

_“So… Myungjun, about Dongmin.”_

_“Yeah, what about him?” I had asked._

_I looked up from my book being greeted with the beautiful sight of Bin’s naked torso, with his sweatpants hanging low on his hips he looked like some kind of model. The view had caught me off guard and next thing I knew my face felt hot and my eyes had shot back down to the pages of my novel._

_“Is he single?”_

_My head shot up to look at him once again, a look of horror spreading across my face as I felt my heart beat pick up speed._

_“Excuse me?” I asked, my voice sounded strained as I was already desperately trying to hold back my tears._

_“Is… Is he single?” He repeated his question, his voice sounding confused at my little outburst._

_I stood up “No Bin. No, he’s not Bin.” I said, snapping a little more harshly than I had originally intended, but that was the last thing I cared about right now._

_I stormed away from him, slamming my bedroom door behind me as I felt my heart beating in my throat. The only thing I could hear was the thudding of my heart, which seemed to only accelerate my anger. Now that I think about Bin was probably extremely confused as to what was going on, probably even a little scared if he cared enough about me enough, which I’m pretty sure he doesn’t. Actually, I’m not just sure, I know he doesn’t. Because right after I had slid down my bedroom door to the hardwood floor, I heard the front door click shut. That noise had pretty much triggered my tears, causing them to flood down my face like a river. I fell down to the floor holding my knees close to my chest. I felt like I was suffocating. The pain in my heart felt the same as it did when I first heard that stupid question slip from a boys lips. The only difference now was that I couldn’t hear it anymore, it was almost as if it had stopped beating altogether. Part of me wishes that it had._

 

* * *

 

 

Waking up with Moon Bin wrapped in my arms is a luxury that I'm glad that I have the access too, it's just not in the same way that I desire it. He still has dried tears on his cheeks and dark circles under his cat shaped eyes. Despite all of that though, he still looks so fucking perfect, and I know that someday it will be the death of me.

The early morning sunlight was pouring in from the window, giving a yellow tint to his features. It makes him look almost fake, I thought that maybe it was all in my imagination, him lying here in my arms. But it wasn’t, he was here. Just not in the way that I want him. And I want him, I want him so badly.

He stirs in his sleep, opening his eyes slowly. He stares at me for a minute, it seems like he was almost in awe. I stare back probably with a similar look on my face.

“Good morning,” I said, trying desperately to break the silence.

He just smiles in return before pulling out of my arms, sitting next to me.

“I’m sorry about last night…” He mumbles, looking down at his hands. 

My chest clenches, he just looks so cute. I swear it shouldn’t be legal to look this good all the time.

“It’s fine, you don’t need to apologize. I’ll always be here for you Binnie, you know this.” I whisper softly, putting my hand on his leg.

He stays silent again only smiling softly. We stay silent again for a bit before I look up at the clock resting on the wall above the TV, a small sigh leaves my mouth. I have to get ready for work.

“Anyway, Bin. I need to get ready for work. Aren’t you going out with Minhyuk today?” I ask him.

He nods. “Yeah. I guess I’ll see you tonight then when you get home?” He asks.

I nod in response and smiled. I turn away a small sigh leaving my lips and tears pricking at my eyes once again.

“You know you can too MJ.” He says quickly.

“What do you mean?” I ask, making sure my voice sounds stable.

“You can rely on me too. I care about you just as much as you care about me.” I sighed at that sentence, doubtful but okay.

“I feel like it’s always me going to you, but you seem to be just as troubled as me, I hear you crying in your room alone sometimes, and I just want you to know that you can come to me too.” He adds.

I can feel his eyes burning into my back, god I’m so in love with him. Why does he have to be so fucking nice? It’s truly not fair that someone looks like that and is as nice as he is.

I just nod after a while of silence, turning to him and giving him a weak smile. As much as I wanted too, I know that I can’t take him up on his offer. I sigh and finally head into my room to get ready for the day ahead of me.

_ “Just live right now,_

_and be yourself, _

_ it doesn't matter whether or not it's good enough for someone else."_

** \- Calum Hood, 5 Seconds of Summer. **


End file.
